Solitaire

I'm a solitary person, and sometimes it gets to me. Most of the time it doesn't. I entertain myself. (No, not like that.) I'm talking about creative activities for - uh - loners. Things to do with your hands that give you pleasure. (You see? You were way off.) One great way to pass the time [I'm going to be sarcastic now.] is to reinvent existing TV and movie footage. Oh, you'll never tire of this! You take a clip from one of your favourite TV shows or movies. Then you take a song from one of your favourite song writers. And you ingeniously put them together and post it to YouTube. Then everyone knows you're cool. And the more you do it, the cooler they'll think you are. Post ten thousand videos like this. Make an impact. Home decorating could also keep you busy. Look around you and see if the place needs brightening up (or darkening down) anywhere. One good thing to try to do is to make your own mirror ball. Just go to the department store and grab two of those closed circuit camera domes when no one is looking. (They refuse to sell them.) Then take them home and ingeniously put them together into a sphere. If you want more sparkles, smash the shit out of it and glue it back together a piece at a time. It's also a good thing to try to help people if you can. Go stand on the street corner and ask the people if they need any help with anything as they pass you by. Maybe they have a cramp in their foot or their dog just took a dump and they can't find a plastic bag. Whatever the case, you are sure to stay entertained for hours on end.
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© 2010. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.